Through My Eyes
by muselover75
Summary: After witnessing Bella's broken heart, Edward's determined to put the pieces back together.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello! I know it's been way too long and I sincerely thank anyone reading this right now. To the readers who started "When You Hear My Heart Stop," I promise that I haven't given up on it. It's been on my mind more than you know and I hope to get to a place where I'm ready to delve back into where I left all you wonderful people hanging.**

 **But in the meantime, this was a oneshot that turned into something…more. I had such a fun time writing it that I wanted to share it!**

 **Thank you to my wonderful beta, SydneyAlice, who not only turns my ordinary words into something beautiful, but listens to more bullshit than she should have to. I owe you one, girl.**

 **As usual, the wonderful universe of "Twilight" belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I am unfortunately not her. I hope you guys like it! This is all Edward's POV. Rated M for occasional language. AH.**

"What do I keep doing wrong?" Bella asked as she cried on my shoulder. I had my arm wrapped around her, stroking the top of her arm, trying to comfort her any way I knew how.

"Nothing, Bella. That guy was just an asshole."

Bella Swan has been my best friend since pre-school. To say that we've literally known each other all our lives isn't an understatement by any means. That first day of pre-school I remember her hiding behind her mom's legs, eyes locked to the floor. The kids in our class were scattered around the room. Some were on the plastic slide in the corner, some girls were brushing the hair of dolls, and some boys were crawling around, pushing cars and trucks across the floor. Our teacher squatted in front of Bella, trying her hardest to get her to join the rest of the group, but she wouldn't budge. Eventually, the teacher lured her away with some crayons and a coloring book, but as soon as she noticed her mom had left, the tears started streaming down her face. Bella had been the only kid to cry that first day of pre-school. Some kids teased her about it that morning, but she ignored them, choosing to stay silent instead.

I got assigned to the same table as Bella, along with two other kids – Ben Cheney and Angela Weber. It's amazing that I can still recall their names. Of course having that table as our permanent seat for the year probably allowed me to remember them so well.

Bella was the quietest person I had ever met. Growing up with an older brother as loud and rambunctious as mine made you realize that some kids didn't always shout or want to wrestle like Emmett did.

That morning, we were working on a puzzle of jungle animals when a kid named Tyler Crowley came over to Bella and called her a "cry baby." I could see how embarrassed she was . . . how she refused to let her eyes fill with tears at his teasing. I looked over at Tyler in disbelief. Sure, Emmett and I got into arguments, but my mom, Esme, never would have tolerated name calling. We made the mistake of doing that once in front of her, which resulted in no television privileges for a week.

I just couldn't believe how cruel he was being to someone he didn't even know. I could sympathize with Bella because I seemed to be a constant target for Emmett's teasing. Still, the situation was different; Emmett was my brother and I knew that he loved me even when he teased me. Tyler was being cruel to a person he didn't even know.

Without a word, he grabbed the puzzle piece Bella was holding and ran back to his seat with it.

That was it. She hadn't done anything to deserve his cruelness – to deserve anyone's teasing. She had been keeping to herself the whole morning and not causing any trouble. And just because she got upset when her mom left, she was now considered an easy prey for the other kids to pounce on.

Without giving it a second thought, I got out of my seat and walked over to Tyler. I told him if he wanted to make trouble for anyone, he should do it with someone his own size – like me. I took the puzzle piece out of his hand and gave it back to Bella.

"Don't listen to him. He's mean," I told her as she fit the piece to complete the giraffe's neck into place. She gave me a brief smile before quickly darting her eyes back down to the puzzle.

The rest of that morning was uneventful as far as Bella was concerned. I told her that my favorite animal was a lion (Esme had just bought us "The Lion King" on VHS and Emmett and I could not stop watching it). She told me that she liked Timon and Puma. She asked me what my favorite color was and when I told her mine was green, she told me hers was blue. When the teacher told us to sit in a circle on the carpet for story time, Bella sat next to me, her eyes glued to the book in the teacher's hands. I could tell that books were obviously something she enjoyed, and I wondered if her mom read to her before bed like my mom did with us.

At the end of the day, as we sat waiting for our parents, I noticed that Bella was getting anxious as moms and dads arrived to pick up their children. Her mom hadn't gotten there yet. When Esme arrived, she asked me how my day was and as she turned to leave, I stopped her.

"Mom, can we wait until her mom gets here?" I asked, pointing at Bella over my shoulder.

"Sure, honey." Esme said, helping me to take my backpack off. My mom talked to Bella, asking her name and what was her favorite part of the day. It wasn't long before Bella's face erupted into a smile when her mom, Renee, made her way into the classroom. She jumped up and ran over to her mom, her arms already outstretched for a hug. Esme got my backpack and walked over to introduce herself. I told Bella that I'd see her tomorrow and she smiled back at me before taking Renee's hand and leaving.

Every day that week, my mom and I would wait with Bella until her mom picked her up. She didn't like being left alone and she told me once she was scared that Renee had forgotten about her. Esme always assured her that wasn't the case, but she always continued fidgeting until Renee arrived.

After that, Bella and I became fast friends. Nobody teased Bella about what happened on our first day of school and she soon became comfortable enough to talk more with Angela and Ben. She was still the same quiet introvert, but she talked back if you started a conversation with her. Story time continued to be her favorite part of the day and she'd often find a book and a quiet place to sit down and flip through the pages, looking at the pictures. We liked coloring together, and we finished the one containing zoo animals all by ourselves.

One day, Renee got to school before Esme did. I told Bella goodbye as I watched Renee bend down to Bella's eye level so she could ask her a question. They both looked over at me in unison before coming to sit at our table.

"Hi Edward, Bella tells me your mom isn't here yet?"

I shook my head no. "She'll be here, though. She had a doctor's appointment this morning."

"I'm sure she will be." Renee smiled before asking me what I liked about school and what we did today. Bella could hardly take her eyes off her, and it was obvious they had a very tight bond. When mom did eventually get there, she thanked Renee for staying with me. Bella and I waved goodbye to each other before mom took my hand and led me to the car.

"Bella's mom told me that Bella didn't want to come to school last week because she was being teased," Esme said, helping me with my seatbelt.

"I know. She got teased for crying. Kids are mean."

"They can be, yes. But her mom also told me that you were the only reason she wanted to come back. She told me that you were very nice to Bella and that you're her friend. That was very nice of you." Mom kissed my forehead. "I'm so proud."

Mom eventually asked Renee where they lived, and I was excited to learn that they lived only two blocks away from our house. Our moms arranged a car pool schedule so Bella and I became inseparable in a short amount of time. Renee even brought Bella over one afternoon when it snowed so we could watch "The Lion King" with Emmett.

After the school year was over, Bella and I stayed friends throughout the summer. Our moms arranged more play dates, and I was excited to have someone besides Emmett to play with. When the next school year began, Bella and I were in the same classroom with some of the other kids from our pre-school class. Thankfully, Bella didn't get as upset that first day like she did the year before.

We still talked to Angela, but learned that Ben had moved away over the summer. Now Angela was the one who was almost always sad. Apparently, she and Ben had struck up a friendship with each other like Bella and I had. Angela missed him, but Bella and I did our best to cheer her up. I couldn't imagine if the situation had been reversed and Bella had moved away. I was as close to her as I was Emmett, and I knew without a doubt I'd be heartbroken if she ever left.

Another school year passed, and the next year Bella and I weren't in the same class. Being from a town as small as Forks, there were only two classes, and this year we were separated. We still saw each other at lunch, and that's when I introduced her to Jasper, a friend I'd made in my class. When I introduced them, I was glad they liked each other. I knew they would, though. Jasper's as laid back as you can get, and when you're as sweet as Bella, you get along with anybody.

She told me once that she was afraid he had taken her place as my best friend. I told her that wasn't the case. Jasper was my best guy friend; Bella was my best girl friend. I was somewhat caught off guard by her question, but I soon realized why she asked it. It wasn't because she was being territorial over me, demanding I have no other friends besides her. Instead, it was insecurity. Bella feared that I would replace her as soon as someone she considered better than herself came along. At the time I didn't understand why she would feel that way, but assumed she was as scared of losing me as I was her. I assured her that I didn't view them any differently and was glad that all of us could be friends. During the summer, Jasper's mom even dropped him off a couple of nights so all three of us could hang out.

All throughout middle school and our first year of high school, Bella and I remained best friends. Most years we were in the same class, which was great, because we could work on projects together and do homework assignments after school. During the years we were separated, Bella became comfortable enough to adjust to not having me there. It was just a habit of nature . . . the two of us leaning on each other for support. We were used to always having the other one there, and I sometimes wondered if Bella and I were meant to be twins in another life.

Jasper and I were still friends, but I saw less of him now that he was dating a girl named Alice. She was really sweet and brought out the best in him. We occasionally all got together to eat at the local diner, and once or twice, Alice had unwaveringly tried to talk Bella into a shopping trip to Port Angeles. Bella went once, more to appease Alice than out of actual desire to go.

One night when Jasper and I were hanging out playing video games he asked if I saw Bella as more than a friend.

"No. I mean she's awesome, but I've known her since pre-school. She's . . . different to me. Plus, I wouldn't want to screw up what we have now if we dated and it didn't work out." I explained.

"So you _have_ thought about it?" he asked.

I paused the game, contemplating what he said. "Not really. I mean, I know rumors were floating around that we were dating, but I just don't see her that way. She's my friend first."

"I have to admit, man," Jasper said, "I really did think that you guys were a couple at one point. Bella's a good girl. Any guy would be lucky to have her."

"Yeah."

I wasn't comfortable with the idea of just _anybody_ having her.

"But Alice is . . ." he continued, an enormous grin breaking out on his face. "I think, I think she might be the one. I never knew I could feel this way about anyone."

"Aww, so sappy."

"Fuck you," he shot back, smiling at me.

I grinned at him, happy I was able to get a rise out of him. "I'm just kidding. I like her, too. She's good for you."

We resumed the game, but my mind began giving serious consideration to Jasper's question. Did I want more from Bella than just friendship? He was right when he said that any guy would be lucky to have her. She was everything you could want in a girl – sweet, pretty, kind, funny, smart. The list was endless.

But still, my feelings for Bella were just . . . different. I didn't consider her my sister, but something in-between my best friend and a kindred soul. When you knew someone as long as we'd known each other, you didn't feel the necessity to put a label on something that was hard to define. We got along so well and Bella just . . .

I was having trouble finding the words to describe exactly who she was to me. I was thankful when Jasper didn't ask about it again.

During our sophomore year of high school, the quarterback of the football team asked Bella out on a date. His name was Mike Newton and he was nice, but I was as surprised as Bella that he had shown an interest in her. I was immediately on guard, wondering what his intentions were with her.

"I just can't believe it. I mean, Mike and I have never spoken more than five words to each other, and all of a sudden he wants to go out on Friday night. That's weird, isn't it?" she asked me as we worked on our English homework together.

"I don't know, Bella. I guess all guys don't always show their interest in a girl," I replied, my eyes locked on my paper as I wrote down an answer.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, some guys are just intimidated by girls. They want to ask a girl out, but they're afraid to be shot down."

My eyes remained glued on my assignment sheet, trying to subtly show Bella how uninterested in discussing this I was, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Well, Mike shouldn't have felt that way, if he ever did. He is the quarterback, after all."

That was true. Mike had girls hanging off his every word – and sometimes clinging to him – through the halls or in the cafeteria. He was a nice enough guy, I suppose. We sat by each other in Geometry class, but I never thought much of him. I knew he wasn't a player, though. Sure, he was kind to every girl who had shown an interest and even let them down easily, but he was never one of those guys to be with a different girl every month. Maybe he wasn't so bad, after all.

Still, I had my guard up.

Bella told me she had accepted his offer, and they were going on a date in a couple of days. My heart sank at her words and I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face.

Sometimes in Geometry, I tried to subtly check him out. What did Bella see in this guy? I tried to convince myself that she was probably just being nice and didn't want to hurt his feelings if she declined his invitation. That was Bella – always looking out for everyone else. It was probably just an innocent date and nothing would come of it.

But if he ever made her cry, I'd make him cry.

Their date had apparently gone well, because he asked Bella to be his girlfriend a couple weeks later. When Bella told me she wanted to introduce us officially, I groaned at the thought. I had seen them in the hallways and he even joined us for lunch a couple times. As far as I was concerned, there was no reason for us to have to meet.

"Please, for me?" she asked, sticking out her lower lip and giving me those eyes she knew I couldn't say no to.

"Fine," I huffed before she hugged and thanked me. I remained like stone, unable to wrap my arms around her. As stupid as it was, I was glad she had embraced me first. I enjoyed the feeling of her arms around me, but hated her motivation behind it.

And so that Friday night I met them at the diner so she could introduce us. I still thought it was ridiculous, considering I sat next to the guy in class, but whatever made Bella happy. Mike was polite, shaking my hand and treating Bella with the utmost respect. He let her order before he did. He offered her his letterman jacket several times when he thought she was cold. He looked at her like he adored her . . . like the way I looked at her.

I didn't necessarily hate him; I had no reason to, but one wrong move and he was going to be sorry.

"So…?"

"So what?" I looked at Bella.

"So what did you think of Mike yesterday?" Bella asked during a commercial.

Nothing made me happier than an empty Saturday afternoon, with plenty of time to spend with Bella. We didn't really have anything special planned, but found ourselves downstairs in my family's entertainment room.

"He's…alright." I replied, grudgingly.

"And…?"

"That's it."

I looked at her expectantly, wondering what she wanted me to say.

"Come on, Edward. You've never said anything bad about him before."

"Because I've never had a reason."

"You don't think I'm good enough for him," she said, her voice deflated and eyes accusatory.

What the hell? What made her come to that conclusion?

"You know that's not the reason, Bella."

 _He's not good enough for YOU_ , I wanted to tell her.

"Then why don't you like him?"

"It's not that I don't like him. I just . . . don't want you to get hurt." I stumbled over my words. I hated having to consider that possibility. Nothing would upset me more than seeing her get hurt.

"Who says I'm going to get hurt?"

"I'm just looking out for you, Bella. If he ever upsets you, you let me know and I'll take care of him."

"Well now I definitely won't let you know. Besides, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Charlie and Renee have already met him and my dad was determined to show him his vast gun collection before we left the house," she said with a smile, but she still rolled her eyes.

 _Good for Charlie_ , I thought but dared not speak it.

Bella and Mike were happy for a couple months. As far as I knew, they had never gotten in a fight, and even Jasper and Alice approved when they met him. I was just thankful that I never had to witness them kissing in the hallways. That thought alone had my skin crawling. I wouldn't have been able to witness that without wanting to put my fist into his face.

But, like most first romances, it didn't work out. I had known that something was bothering Bella for days before I finally convinced her to talk to me. Mike broke up with her. It wasn't dramatic apparently, but he told her he needed to focus more on his grades. Apparently his parents were banking on him receiving a college scholarship and wanted to make sure he got one.

"Maybe if I would have given him more space…" Bella said sadly, her eyes welling with tears.

"You were never a clingy girlfriend, Bella. You did give him space. Maybe Mike just isn't good at multi-tasking. You never ignored any of your friends to spend time with him or blow any of us off if Mike made other plans without you. Jasper and Alice don't feel that way, either. At least he ended it politely." Her eyes came up to meet mine. "He did end it politely, didn't he?" I asked, making sure that he wasn't a dick about the whole thing.

"Yeah, he did. I just thought things were going so well. He never told me his grades were slipping or anything like that. I would have helped him with his homework, if he had told me he needed it," she said, her eyes glued to the floor.

"Guys are never good about asking for help, Bella. Trust me." I said, smiling at her even though she couldn't see me. "But I have to ask out of curiosity's sake, did Charlie feel the need to bring one of his guns out of hiding?"

Bella chuckled then, meeting my eyes.

"No, he didn't. He assured me that he would if I wanted him to, though. Besides, in a town as small as Forks, where would he dump the body?"

"He's a cop, Bella, he'd find a place."

"I shouldn't have said that," she said, her eyes dropping to her lap. That was like Bella – trying to make a joke to ease her pain but feeling guilty because it was at someone else's expense. She was a better person than I was; I had absolutely no problem joking about Mike no longer existing in her life.

"Mike wants to stay friends, though, and I don't think there's any harm in that," she said, her voice pulling me out of my dark thoughts. "He was a really nice guy and he was always sweet to me."

"I'm glad to hear that."

I was at a loss for words. Was I comfortable with her keeping in contact with a guy who broke her heart? Not really, but I couldn't tell her that. Bella had to make her own decisions concerning her friends and who she deemed worthy to be in her life . . . and who wasn't. I was just thankful that he appeared to let her down easily.

Over the next few months, she and Mike did stay friends, but they eventually stopped talking. Bella said it was just two people growing apart more than anything else that caused them to lose contact with each other. She wasn't even upset our junior year when he started dating Jessica Stanley. I asked to make sure she was okay with it, but Bella told me that she realized it was a good first relationship for her. It just wasn't meant to be.

I never would have believed it, but it wasn't until Bella started dating Mike that I did indeed see her as _more_. As much as I'd tried to deny it, I knew my feelings concerning her were blurring. I meant what I said when I told Jasper that I saw Bella as just as friend. We had a very long, uncomplicated history and to this day we had never been in a fight. But she was amazing. She was kind to people when they didn't deserve it, she never denied anyone help when they asked for it, and she even gave Lauren Mallory a ride home when her car broke down even though Lauren spread rumors about every girl behind their backs. Bella was just _good_. And like Jasper had said, any guy would be lucky to have her. Now that Mike was out of the picture, I realized I wanted that guy to be me.

But what if things got fucked up? What if I unintentionally did something to mess up our relationship and we couldn't be friends after that? I doubt if she even felt that way about me. Bella sometimes asked if I liked anyone we went to school with. She would patiently list off girls, and I'd always shrug my shoulder or say I wasn't interested.

One time she even asked me if I was gay.

"If I were gay, don't you think you would have known by now? We have been friends since we were four." I laughed.

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay. Nothing wrong with being gay. It's just funny that you drew that conclusion."

And truthfully there wasn't anything wrong with any of the girls we went to school with. Even before I had this revelation after Bella and Mike's breakup, there was nothing in any of the girls that I found particularly attractive. Most of the girls were nice and I got along with all of the ones I had been assigned to work with for projects in classes. They just weren't for me. It never even occurred to me that none of them held any particular interest for me. I didn't consider myself to be a snob when it came to dating. I just thought that I'd meet someone in college who I'd be interested in getting to know.

But then Bella and Mike broke up and something changed. Maybe it was seeing her so upset over one guy and knowing that I'd try everything to not bring that look of sadness on her face. Or maybe it was just my instinct to protect her. All I knew was that my feelings for Bella were more than friendship.

"Well, it doesn't matter who she is. She won't be good enough for you, anyway." Bella said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I very much wanted to argue that she would indeed be good enough for me, but I held my tongue.

I continued to struggle with my conflicting feelings for Bella. So much so, that I went to Emmett for advice since he was in a relationship with a girl named Rosalie. She came off as cold to me the first time I met her, but I eventually warmed up to her. She made Emmett deliriously happy and I was happy for him.

"When you know, you just know. It's as simple as that," he assured me. "I'm not surprised your feelings for Bella have changed. I know as kids you saw her as a friend and only a friend, but she's damn near perfect for you."

I smiled at his words, hoping for them to be true. Now if only I could get Bella to see us this way.

"I mean, you guys know each other so well, you always seem to know what she's thinking and she can almost complete your sentences for you. Sometimes love grows out of a friendship into something more, and I think once she started dating Mike, you realized that you could potentially lose her, and that scared the shit out of you."

"It did not."

I tried to believe my own lie. I knew damn well that Emmett's words were hitting a little too close to the truth.

"Seriously Edward, how would you have felt if she and Mike would have had a great relationship and it progressed to them getting engaged? Would you have honestly been able to be happy for her without wanting to fracture his skull?"

"I only would have done that if he'd had hurt her in some way. I admit that seeing them together wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but I still think it's because I didn't want to see her get hurt."

"And that may have been true, _then_. But it's not true now. I don't think so, at least."

There were very few times in my life when Emmett was serious. He was usually so happy-go-lucky that seeing him this way was rare. I could tell that he really did care since he was being so sincere in his observations concerning me and Bella. In the past growing up, Emmett and I fought sometimes, but I knew that he loved me like I loved him. He was my only sibling and I knew that he wanted only what was best for me.

"I don't think so, either." I replied, shocked at my own truth and the feelings that came with that admission.

"Besides, didn't Mike sort of hurt her?" he asked, his face contouring into one of confusion.

"What? When?" I asked, wondering if he knew something I didn't.

"Well, typically when girls get dumped, don't they cry into Ben and Jerry's ice cream containers and watch sad movies or some shit? With my past experience, I just assumed every girl did that."

"No," I just shook my head, amazed that I shared DNA with this imbecile. I sincerely hoped that Bella had not wasted tears over someone as undeserving as Mike Newton.

"So, make a move."

He said it as if I was incapable of realizing what my next sort of action should be.

"I just don't want to mess things up, Emmett."

"Honestly, I don't think you could. Look, I know that you'd never purposefully do that, but what's the worst that can happen? Even if you did go out and it didn't end well, you guys are too much a part of each other to cut the other out of your lives. I don't believe in soul mates, but if they exist, you guys are the definition of it. Besides, I don't think it's even possible for you not to remain in her life. At least if you went out and it didn't work out, you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your life wondering if you guys could have had something."

It amazed me how he could go from saying something idiotic to something profound in the flick of a switch. That was Em for you, always taking you by surprise when you least expected it.

So with my newfound wisdom from Emmett, I decided that in the next few weeks I'd approach Bella about possibly becoming . . . more.

I'd be kidding myself if I said I wasn't nervous. Never had I realized that Bella's opinion of me meant so much. After all, we had been friends since pre-school. If she didn't like me by now, she was never going to.

No sooner did I resolve to talk to Bella did James Sullivan come into her life. He was a senior which meant I knew nothing about him. Which meant I couldn't judge him.

Except I did.

He was only two years older than us, but I wondered what he wanted with Bella. Not that I didn't see her for the amazing girl that she was, but why was James suddenly interested? Bella expressed to me her hesitation in getting involved with him. It had been almost a year since Mike broke it off with her, but that was Bella. Ever cautious, weighing her options and the possible outcomes carefully.

She wasn't a fool when it came to her heart, but I had hoped that she wouldn't hesitate in giving it to me.

"If you don't want to go out with him, then don't." I told her, hoping to God that she'd take my advice.

"But what if he really is nice?"

She was lying on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I was alphabetically arranging my CDs beside my stereo and wondered how Pearl Jam ended up mixed in with my "S" artists. Probably Emmett.

"I don't know." I wracked my brain, trying to come up with an excuse as to why she shouldn't even consider going out with him.

"I just don't want to judge him if I don't know him. But Mike—"

"What about Mike?"

"I won't lie to you, Mike dumping me really hurt me. Even though we weren't extremely serious, I just didn't see it coming, and if I could avoid feeling like that again, I would."

"Well, that's unfortunately the risk you take when starting a relationship with somebody new." I wanted to emphasize the world _new_. "I won't lie to you Bella. I do have some preconceived notions about James."

Maybe I was a dick for trying to manipulate her insecurity regarding my view on James. Still, he was totally messing up my plan in admitting to Bella how I felt. I wasn't going to just step aside and let him get to her first. Not if I could help it.

She raised herself on her elbows. "Like what?"

"Well, he's a senior," I pointed out.

"So just because he's older means he's bad?"

"No, I just mean that he doesn't know you very well. Has he even tried to talk to you before?"

"No, but that doesn't mean that he can't start now."

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to further the conversation. Plus, I was all out of ideas and grasping at straws trying to convince her to not take a chance on James.

"Besides, you did tell me once that not all guys tell the girl how they feel."

 _Why in the fuck did she always listen to everything I say so closely?_

"Maybe James just wants to take an opportunity, see if it goes anywhere. Who knows if it will even work out?" Bella murmured, I think more for my benefit than for hers.

Two Fridays after that conversation, James took Bella out on their first date. Dinner and a movie. The epitome of a fucking cliché. Bella hadn't told me about their plans, but instead told Alice who then told Jasper. Apparently Jasper hadn't told Alice how I felt about Bella, which proved how good of a friend he was.

I was miserable all day and night when I found out. Bella had thankfully not brought James to our lunch table at school, so I wasn't forced to meet the prick yet. He just seemed…wrong. Not even wrong for Bella, but just wrong in general. He seemed smug and walked the halls like he owned the school. He lived in his brown jacket, and I theorized that his hair was permanently tied back into a ponytail. He was good-looking and he knew it. And what was more irritating is that he knew girls knew he was good-looking, too. Bella was his complete opposite, and I wish he'd stayed away from her. Out of all the girls that attended our school, practically the entire population of Forks, why oh why did it have to be Bella that he showed an interest in?

While moping around the house that night, Emmett asked me what was wrong. I told him about Bella's date night and he gave me a sympathetic look. But because he was Emmett, he also had to remind me that I had plenty of time to tell Bella how I felt, but I took too long in doing so. I gave Emmett a look which I hoped said "fuck off" and climbed the stairs.

I knew that what he was saying was true, but it hurt more hearing someone else vocalize it. I lay in bed, the back of my wrist against the bridge of my nose, eyes closed, as I wondered what Bella was doing. Knowing Bella, she wasn't even interested in any of the movies playing at the theater. It was probably his idea and because Bella was a people pleaser, she'd do whatever he wanted to do. Bella was smart, but she was inexperienced when it came to guys and I was hoping she wouldn't let James push her into something she wasn't interested in. He just seemed like the kind of guy who was used to getting his way and wouldn't take no for an answer. Hopefully, Charlie had decided to show James his gun collection when he came to pick her up, just like he had with Mike.

My mind began to think things without my permission as I visualized him kissing her goodnight, holding her close. He'd take up her time and before I knew it, she wouldn't eat lunch at our table or want to hang out anymore. He'd propose and she'd beam ear-to-ear while showing me her engagement ring. On her wedding day, I'd be forced to be James' groomsman as I watched her walk down the aisle on Charlie's arm when she should be walking towards me instead.

My breathing became labored; my chest taking deep rise and falls as I realized that I was having my first ever panic attack. I didn't need my father, a doctor, to tell me what I knew to be true.

I was panicking at the prospect of losing Bella.

 _Calm down Cullen. They're just on a date, nothing more. Nothing significant is going to happen._

I hoped that was true.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello wonderful readers!**

 **An endless amount of thanks goes to everyone who's clicked on, followed and favorited this story so far. Your confidence in me is astounding.**

 **And as usual, thank you to my beta, SydneyAlice, whom I wouldn't have had the courage to take this journey so far without.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter!**

Bella and I didn't speak that weekend and I was torn. Part of me wanted to know every detail about their date—to know if he did something that made her uncomfortable—while another part of me wanted to be blissfully ignorant to the situation. I didn't want to text her and ask, because I didn't want to seem interested in the details. The last thing I wanted to do was appear like I was encouraging my best friend to date someone whom I already didn't like.

During lunch on Monday, Alice was begging Bella for details regarding her date. Jasper looked sympathetically at Bella, probably because he was used to caving into Alice's pleas. I stared straight ahead at the wall, my appetite vanished.

"Please Bella?" she asked one final time, actually clasping her hands together. Bella was shuffling food around on her plate, a sign she was uncomfortable. But because she was Bella, she obliged.

"It was really nice, Alice," she said as she looked up from her plate into Alice's waiting eyes. "James was a real gentleman. He even opened my car door for me." She shook her head, as if the memory embarrassed her.

That's what Bella liked in a guy? Someone to open her car door? If that's what it took for her to see me differently, I'd open every door for her now.

"What else?" Alice prompted, clearly not letting the conversation drop until she knew everything.

"Well, he took me all the way to Port Angeles for dinner. We ended up at a little Italian restaurant that he said was his favorite. He said he was nervous about taking me there, because he didn't know what food I liked, but seemed to relax after I told him my favorite food was pasta."

I thought her favorite food was deep fried chicken. Was she just saying that for James' benefit?

"After that he took me to a movie," she continued, not even glancing my way.

Was she really oblivious to how much I disliked this conversation?

"I didn't even know what was playing, but we ended up seeing this romantic comedy. I didn't think I would like it, but it was actually really funny," she said, nodding her head in obvious approval of how her night with him turned out.

"Aww, that's so romantic," Alice gushed. "Jasper took me to the movies on our first date."

She leaned over and clasped her hands around Jasper's arm. He smiled down at her like she lit up his entire world.

"Good job, Jasper," Bella approved.

"What can I say? I know how to woo a woman," Jasper joked, taking a drink from his milk carton.

Bella looked over at me, her eyes locking with mine. She looked like she wanted to ask me what was wrong, but instead I looked to the clock on the wall.

 _Please let the bell ring._ Five more minutes until lunch was over. Damn.

"So tell me more!" Alice pleaded, clearly not giving up until she had every detail.

"There's not really much more to tell," Bella said, her eyes once again returning to her plate.

"You're hiding something," Alice accused. She seemed to know Bella's body language as well as I did.

"Well, he put his arm around me during the movie and then kissed me on the hand when he dropped me off. It was very eighteenth century." She leaned across the table and half- whispered to Alice, her cheeks flaming red. I wasn't sure if she was uncomfortable talking to Alice in front of both Jasper and I or just me.

"And there it is!" Alice giggled, clearly pleased with herself that she finally dragged Bella's secret out of her. "Well, it sounds like it went well to me. Are you going out with him again?"

"I don't know. James said that he'd talk to me today, but I haven't seen him yet."

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rang and I tossed my trash into the garbage can before returning my tray to the kitchen. On my way to class, I could still hear Bella and Alice talking behind me, but I tried my best to tune them out. I really hoped that I hadn't hurt Bella by not sharing Alice's enthusiasm about her date, but I couldn't even pretend that I was the slightest bit happy for her. I think Alice was talking about some nail polish she wanted to buy, anyway.

I was in a bad mood the rest of the day. I got what I wanted – I got to know about Bella's date – yet my mind wasn't eased in the least. It was cruel of me, but I had hoped James would have messed up majorly on Friday night and Bella would see him for the ass he was. Maybe his car would run out of gas or his credit card would be declined at the restaurant, but no such luck. I was hoping like hell that James having not spoken to Bella today would be a good sign.

I didn't pay much attention in Biology, too consumed by my thoughts of Bella. She was the only girl who I had ever felt something different for and now she was feeling something for someone else. I wanted to destroy his face with repeated blows, yet even I had to admit I was a little intimidated by him. He looked like an aggressive guy; someone who was used to fighting. If he ever laid an angry hand on Bella, I think Charlie and I would take turns using him for target practice.

A part of me knew that I wasn't being fair. I didn't really know James that well after all. He was a senior; I didn't have any classes with him, but he just reminded me of someone from the wrong side of the tracks. There was just this air about him that reeked of superiority and arrogance. What made him so damn good? What did Bella see in him that she didn't see in me?

I was pretty sure that Bella had never seen me differently, just like I had never seen her differently until recently, but could she? Could she see me as a boyfriend and not just as her best friend? Would she be willing to take a chance on us, even if I failed miserably and fucked everything up? And if that happened, would she then be able to see me like she used to without it being awkward? Could I make a move before it became too late?

Biology flew by and I made my way to my last class of the day, Spanish. Senora Cope was pretty eccentric and I made good grades in her class. I was hoping she wouldn't mind my daydreaming as I envisioned Bella telling me that she dumped James and realized that I was who she wanted, who she needed, in a different way.

I caught myself smiling before snapping back to reality and taking the notes that were on the chalkboard. Hopefully nobody noticed my psychotic smiling episode.

After the bell rang, I went to my locker to pack my books and walked to my car. I gave Bella a ride this morning, keeping the car pooling tradition still alive like we had when we were kids. She usually beat me to my car or got there shortly after, but today she was taking longer. I turned on the car and scanned the radio, stopping when I heard a Radiohead song.

I looked up and spotted Bella, eyes downcast, her brown hair falling around her shoulders, framed by green and gray from the surrounding weather. She slid into the passenger seat, her eyes assessing me up and down. The parking lot had mostly cleared out by then and I could feel her eyes on me as I checked both ways before pulling out of the lot.

"What?" I finally asked, squirming under her stare. She didn't answer at first, so I looked over at her, hoping she didn't find a scowl on my face.

"Are you alright?" she asked timidly, almost like she was afraid of my answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine Bella." I said, my hand coming up to rest on the side of my head. She could probably tell I was clearly annoyed. I began pulling at the ends of my hair, another dead giveaway that I was stressed. "Why?" I asked, hoping to seem indifferent.

"You were just really quiet at lunch," she responded, opening her hands in front of the vents that were now blowing heat.

I continued to drive in silence, not wanting her to know how annoyed I was knowing about her date with James. Bella deserved to be happy; I just wish it would have been with me.

"I'm just tired, Bella," I lied, trying to apologize for my sour mood with her. The lie would hopefully help make up for my lack of enthusiasm concerning her good time last Friday night.

"Okay," she said quietly, almost defeated. I knew she didn't buy the bullshit I handed her for one second. She sighed as she looked out the window, her hands resting on her lap.

I felt like shit then, clearly upsetting her to the point where she didn't even want to talk anymore.

I told her that I'd talk to her tomorrow while dropping her off in her driveway. She only responded with "yeah" before turning and walking into her house, closing the front door without a backwards glance at me.

I knew two things with absolute certainty.

One, I wanted her to be happy.

And two, that as her best friend, I should be happy for her that she got asked out on a date and had a good time. But I wasn't.

I was jealous. I wanted to be the one to open her car door, to wrap my arm around her shoulder during a movie, to kiss her goodnight. It took someone like Mike Newton for me to realize that I felt something differently for her. How quickly my feelings seemed to change, almost like a one-eighty. I'd like to think that even without Mike's influence I would have eventually figured it out on my own, but I wasn't so sure.

Bella was so special to me. She was a part of me, like the other half I didn't know was missing until we met. We had gone through almost every milestone together – every grade year of school, learning how to drive, and she stroked my cheek after I boasted that Carlisle had taught me to shave a couple of years ago. She was as much a part of my family as she was my friend, and I knew my life would be miserable without her.

That night I decided to support her. Even though I hated that she was seeing James and I trusted him about as far as I could throw him, I decided that I'd rather have her in my life as my friend than not at all. I realized that my potential passive aggressiveness towards her may cause her to push me away. Plus, if James ever did hurt or upset her, I'd want her to tell me so I could rip him to pieces. She needed to know that she could trust me and that nothing had changed as far as our friendship went. I'd always be willing to stand for her, protect her and look after her, if she let me.

Even though I knew it would kill me to do so, I'd pretend to be happy for her. All the while, I'd just be waiting in the wings, secretly hoping that things would end in disaster between them. Was it selfish of me? Absolutely. But love makes you do stupid things you'd never otherwise do.

The next morning, Bella walked out to greet me as soon as I pulled up next to the curb. She closed her door and buckled up without even as much as a glance towards me or a "good morning" greeting.

"Hi," I said, hoping that she wasn't still pissed at me. She looked up at me in surprise.

"Hi," she softly answered back. Jeez. Had my mood really affected her that much yesterday? I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but before I got a chance, a smile slowly spread across her face. Apparently she was happy that my mood hadn't transpired into today.

"Everything okay?" I asked, goofily grinning back at her just like she was at me.

"Yeah," she answered, still smiling. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, assuming her answer, but wanting to hear her confirm it.

"I don't know," she shrugged, stalling. "I just wasn't sure what happened to you yesterday. I knew you were upset. I was worried why you wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I thought I had done something to you." Her eyes stared straight ahead at the road before dropping down to her lap.

I know she didn't do it on purpose, but she made me feel a hundred times worse about myself than I already did. She thought she did something wrong to me? Why did she feel that way? Did all girls feel the need to shoulder the responsibility of blame with their friends? An epiphany occurred to me as I realized that I may not deserve her after all.

"It wasn't you, Bella, okay? It was my shit. I'm good now, though." I opted for the truth, just the shorter version.

"Okay." She bit her lip, wanting to believe me, but still a little hesitant to do so. I wanted to tell her that it really was me, but decided that it'd be better to show her so she could realize this in her own time.

"So, how was your day yesterday?" I tried to change the subject.

"It was pretty good. James caught up with me after school, that's why I was late," she explained, clearly oblivious to my discomfort.

And here that fucker was again, making conversation awkward between us.

"Oh?" was all I could say.

I wanted to turn on the radio as loud as it would go or unbuckle and run from the car, anything to get across how uninterested in this topic I was. I reminded myself of my mission last night, to support her and hope that things would end in my favor.

"Yeah, he told me he was thinking about me all weekend long. He hopes we can get together in the next few weeks. He wanted to text me after our date, but he also wanted to give me some space."

 _I wish the fucker would give you more space_ , I wanted to say, but held my tongue.

"Okay. Well that was nice of him, I guess."

"I think it's different this time," she said, staring into the distance out the window. She had a dreamy expression on her face and I didn't like it.

"Different this time?" I asked, completely lost, but scared as hell at what she was about to say.

"James is different than Mike. I mean Mike was nice, but it's not a matter of kindness. I just feel like James is more protective than Mike, that's all."

"Why did James have to be protective?" The words rushed out of my mouth. Had something happened on Friday night where James felt like he needed to protect Bella from someone?

"He didn't have to be," she paused, looking for the right words. "It's just at the movie theater there was some guy kind of staring at me. I think that's why James wrapped his arm around me. I guess he could tell that I was uncomfortable with the unwanted attention." She played with the bracelet around her wrist, trying to sound nonchalant, but failing miserably.

"I see," was all I could manage, my mind churning. So there was a detail that Bella had omitted to Alice when she was pressed for details yesterday. Why did Bella feel the need to hide that? She was probably unaware of just how many males stared at her in class or turned around after she passed them in the hall. She had no idea how attractive she was; how perfect she is. I myself hadn't noticed until recently. Or perhaps I had always known and it just wasn't brought to my attention.

"Well, I'm glad that James was able to maintain the situation," I said half truthfully. Part of me was obviously thankful she was okay, another part of me wanted to eliminate James from the equation. Protecting Bella felt like my job. I had been doing it since the first day I met her. I didn't need somebody else to do it for me.

"There was no situation to maintain," she chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a fight or anything. James seems like a very intense individual."

So it wasn't just me who had noticed. Bella thought James was "intense," as she put it, too. The rest of the drive to school was silent, both of us probably lost in our thoughts.

Bella had History first period while I had English. We parted ways, knowing that we'd see each other at lunch. I had second period Calculus with Jasper who I hadn't talked to all weekend.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Jasper leaned over, his desk to the right of mine. At my puzzled expression, he clarified. "Lunchtime yesterday. Alice pressing Bella for details about her date. I'm sorry. I could tell you were pissed. From one guy to another, I can understand how hard that would be for you."

I shifted in my seat, trying to downplay my reaction to the lunchtime confessions Bella spilled, but I could tell Jasper wasn't buying it.

"If Alice had gone out on a date with some other guy and I had to listen to it, I couldn't have taken it. I would've gotten up, hunted down the guy, and ripped his arms off his torso." I could see from my peripheral vision Jasper's hand forming a fist on his desk. He clenched and flexed his hand a couple of times, trying to relieve the tension. "Well, let's just say you handled it better than I could have."

"Thanks," I said, not sure if that was the right response or not to his compliment.

"I would have told Alice afterwards to stop questioning Bella about those kinds of things in front of you, but I didn't. Knowing Alice, she'd put two and two together and figure out that you have a thing for Bella."

A thing. Was that an appropriate title for what I felt for her? Not even close.

"Thanks," I said sincerely this time. The last thing I needed was Alice trying to play matchmaker and potentially messing things up between us.

On the other hand, maybe having Alice know wouldn't be so bad. Maybe she'd even be willing to talk to Bella about how bad an influence James might be and try to sway her from going on more dates with him. Then again, Alice had given Bella her approval on James yesterday. Would Bella wonder why she'd had a sudden change in heart?

In the end after weighing my options, I decided that I needed to figure out things on my own in my own time. The Alice plan might backfire and the last thing I needed was to make shit awkward for anyone in our small group.

"Please don't tell her," I practically begged, all of a sudden panicking at the idea of Alice telling Bella how I felt before I got a chance to.

"Dude, you're good. Your secret is safe with me." Jasper smiled and I knew he had my back.

I smiled at him in thanks just as the teacher called attention.

The rest of the morning was uneventful. My history and science classes were dull, and I couldn't wait until lunch where I would see Bella again.

When I got to the table, Jasper and Alice were already there eating pizza. I knew Bella's schedule and wondered if Mr. Berty was letting his English class out late. I tried to wait patiently, but it wasn't long until I was getting restless.

I had just decided to go look for her when I saw her come through the lunch line, a big grin across her face. I smiled at seeing her smile, hoping her class was watching _Romeo and Juliet_ or something to explain her jubilant mood. She sat down and I surveyed the salad and apple on her plate.

 _Always a conscious eater_ , I thought, smiling at my own private joke.

"What's that face for?" Alice asked before I could.

I looked over at Bella, sitting next to me, taking a sip of her iced tea.

"James," was all she said as my heart sank in my chest. Of course it was.

"Oh?" Alice asked, her interest clearly piqued. She leaned forward in her seat, her unwavering attention on Bella.

"He wants to do something not this weekend but the next. He caught me in the hallway before he went to his Chemistry class," she explained, smiling around her bite of salad.

 _Be nice_ , I reminded myself. _Remember to be supportive. Doing the opposite might drive her away._

As if she could feel my eyes on her, she turned to me. I formed my lips into some semblance of a smile, hoping I got the expression right. She smiled once she saw me and I was glad that my facial expressions were able to lie for me.

"Did he come up with any ideas yet?" Alice asked.

As much as I liked her and how good she was for Jasper, I wished in that moment that the little pixie would shut up. She stood at barely five feet tall and had she not intimidated me so much, I would have called her a pixie to her face. But, Jasper was in love with her and I liked her, too. Just not her near always curious mind when it came to Bella and her dating life.

"No, he just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything that weekend. Like I'm ever doing anything any weekend," she said sarcastically.

"Maybe we could do something this weekend," I said without thinking, an automatic response causing me to speak without my permission. I was trying to subtly mark my territory without Bella's knowledge.

She looked back over at me then, stopping the lip of the tea bottle before it reached her lips.

"Yeah Edward, I'd like that," she said sincerely. The smile on her lips proved that she wasn't just saying that for my benefit.

"Good," I answered before taking the tea bottle out of her hand and taking a swig for myself.

"Bring over a movie that you like or something," I said casually. We had after all watched endless movies together since the first time we watched "The Lion King" together. I was just glad that so far I hadn't lost my girl to my unworthy adversary.

Bella was much more talkative on the way home that afternoon. Thankfully, for my sake, she neglected to bring up James again and instead talked about "Wuthering Heights." Apparently her class was set to read it in the upcoming weeks.

"But you've read it so many times before," I mused, entertained that she never got tired of reading the same book over and over.

"Yeah, but it's my favorite. Besides, do you ever get tired of listening to Johnny Cash?"

"That's because he was great," I said, enjoying our light sparring match.

"I didn't say that he wasn't. He was, but so was Charlotte Bronte," she replied, a smug smile on her face, knowing that she won.

I chuckled—mesmerized by the girl I was lucky enough to call my best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow.**

 **That's seriously the only adjective that adequately describes my appreciation of every new person who has followed, liked and added this story to their favorites. I'm fairly new to the writing side of the fanfiction world and I continue to be overwhelmed with all the new love and support.**

 **I thank each of you from the bottom of my heart for taking a chance on this story and by extension, taking a chance on me. I appreciate it so much!**

 **As always, thanks to SydneyAlice who guides me down the path I don't always see myself. Love you!**

 **And so continues Bella's and Edward's journey so far…**

The weekend with Bella was exactly what I needed. I began to think that I was foolish for ever thinking that I'd lose her. I knew her better than anyone and even if she was seeing another guy, deep down I knew she'd never forget about her other friends. She wasn't that type of girl to discard anyone and have her life revolve around one particular guy.

We laughed and ate popcorn as we sat on the couch in my family room and watched "21 Jump Street." I didn't bother bringing up James. I refused to let him ruin my time with her. Bella was just as inexperienced with men as I was with women. This was only the second guy she was seeing and it was very unlikely that he'd become her Prince Charming and they'd end up together. She needed someone who knew her like they knew the back of their hand. She needed someone who knew her silence meant she was upset, the sound of the laughs that hid her tears and her stubbornness that masked her insecurities. She needed…me.

On Monday I almost felt like a whole new person, unaffected by the recent havoc James brought into my life. Subconsciously, I was still worried about his upcoming weekend plans with her, but decided once again that I needed her in my life as something rather than not at all.

Bella and I sat alone with Jasper on Thursday and Friday without Alice. She had gotten sick and even though it was just a stomach bug, I could tell how worried Jasper was. I could relate to the feeling. In eighth grade, Bella was sick for a week. Seven days without her was mind-numbingly boring and I was never as happy when she was no longer contagious and could come back to school.

I wished for Alice to be better, but I also realized that without her I'd have no prior knowledge about Bella's date. I was hoping that fate would show me its graces and James would have to cancel or Bella herself would suddenly become disinterested, but no such luck. I knew that Bella wouldn't be comfortable enough talking to Jasper and I about her date, so the majority of our lunch was silent. I knew better than to try to make plans with her. She was such a people pleaser that I knew she'd feel guilty in letting me down, so I decided to let her have Sunday to herself.

I was proud to say that I wasn't in as much of a pissy mood as I had been the last time Bella had been on a date. The reasonable part of my brain reminded me that it was only their second time going out and nothing would happen. I distracted myself by playing video games with Emmett and reading. I even surfed for some albums online that I had wanted to buy to distract my brain from thoughts other than Bella and James.

Before I went to sleep on Saturday night, I pictured Bella safe in her bed and not still with him. I contemplated texting her, but decided that I could wait to see her in person on Monday. I had to remind myself that I decided to let her have her Sunday to herself and last Saturday was so great, there was no need to prove anything. Of course, if I had my way, I'd spend every day with Bella.

Monday came just as fast as I wanted it to and Bella looked happy enough when I picked her up that morning. She asked me about my weekend and I shared with her the joys of finding great albums for reasonable prices on Amazon. She skimmed over her date details with James, opting just to say that they had a "good time" and talked to me more about what she was reading on Sunday. Bella mentioned a few new books that she'd like to drive to Port Angeles to buy and I offered to go with her. She thanked me with a smile as if I had just promised her the moon and all its surrounding stars.

Jasper was ecstatic to have Alice back at our lunch table. She looked like her usual self, not even a trace of illness still on her. I caught Jasper watching her more than normal and I could relate. What a woman could do to a man was very strange. We acted as if stomach bugs were the Spanish Influenza and another man's glance at our girl justified their instant death. Jasper and I were hopeless, but I don't think we could have picked any two better girls. Of course, because Alice was Alice, she had to ask Bella for an update on James. Apparently, her absence made her paranoid that she had missed something.

"He took me hiking on Saturday," Bella said, taking a bite of her apple.

Jasper and I immediately erupted into a burst of laugher. I didn't mean to because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I couldn't help it.

 _Dumbass_ I thought as James' face came to my mind.

"Hey," she nudged my ribs playfully with her elbow, before chuckling at herself.

"What?" Alice asked, looking between us as we all lost our composure, clearly not understanding why we reacted that way.

"You've obviously never seen Bella try to hike before," I explained to Alice.

"Or walk," Jasper contributed.

"She's about as coordinated as an elephant trying go unnoticed," I explained, hoping my metaphor did her justice.

"It was fine," Bella interjected, clearly eager to divert the attention away from herself and onto somebody else. "And besides, I only tripped like three times." She tried to explain, although she knew our joking was only in good fun. Bella was such a good sport, she didn't even glare or get pissed at Jasper and I for laughing. In fact, she did the opposite and a few giggles escaped from her lips. We just knew firsthand how any terrain – even a flat piece of linoleum floor – became dangerous when Bella was walking. She turned to look at Alice, kindly nudging Jasper and I out of her conversation.

"But James was really sweet and patient about it. He was afraid of me twisting my ankle or falling, so he even offered to piggy back me the rest of the way until we got to the trail head." She partly bragged, smiling to herself as she recalled the memory. The smile fell from my face immediately.

"Did you?" Alice halfway squealed, delighted that Bella was divulging information on her own without having to prompt her now.

"Of course not!" she scoffed and I could tell how preposterous Bella thought that idea was. Being vulnerable was never something Bella allowed herself to be. I remembered Tyler's teasing that first day of pre-school and how uncomfortable Bella was being thrust in the spotlight against her wishes. She was never one to put herself out there, preferring instead to blend into the crowd. There was no way that she'd ever let someone she practically just met let her see what she considered to be a weakness. She was way too proud to do something like that, determined to get there the rest of the way on her own instead. I hoped that she learned in our growing up together that it was okay to be vulnerable around me. I hoped she knew that I wouldn't make fun of her tears or judge her for a flaw she saw in herself that I didn't see. Bella was never safer to be herself than when she was with me.

"You should have let him," Alice voiced her opinion. "I would have let you, had you offered," she looked at Jasper adoringly, batting her eyes.

"You want me to piggy back you to your next class? I will, babe," he winked at her before leaning over to kiss her cheek. They laughed while Bella returned her attention to her sandwich.

Jasper didn't realize how lucky he was. He hadn't known Alice all his life like I had Bella, but he found someone he clicked with. It came easily to them and for that I was a little jealous. Maybe things could be that easy between me and Bella someday, if I ever gave it a chance.

"Do you have anything else planned soon?" Alice asked Bella, diverting her attention away from Jasper.

Bella shook her head. "Not that I know of."

I got joy from hearing that, hoping that James would turn his interest to his next prey and away from my girl. It was evil of me; that I couldn't deny, but I would prefer them to break off things now before Bella got too involved. She was a person who loved with her entire heart and while I never wished for her heart to be broken, if it meant that I could have her, I would tolerate it. I wouldn't even feel guilty about it, knowing that it was for the best. The bell rang and I told Bella that I'd see her at my car after class.

As I sat in Biology, I wondered how things would be if the tables were turned. If I were the one who was dating, would Bella discover that she felt something different for me? Would she be insecure watching me talk about another girl? Would her curiosity be peaked if I shared details about the dates I planned for her? Would she become jealous and wish it was her in that girls place who I was taking to dinners and movies?

Bella was a member of my family, blood relation or not; how would she deal with me bringing another girl to dinners with my parents on the holidays? I didn't think these things out of spite towards her. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her, but I had to wonder if any hidden feelings would immerge in Bella if the situation were reversed. Would Bella try to do everything in her power to make me realize that she was the one? Or would she be a quiet martyr; deeming herself not worthy of my affections?

Sometimes I thought I wasn't good enough for her. I was excellent as her best friend; in that role I excelled, but could I be more to her? Was I good enough to hold her heart in a different way? I was hoping like hell that one day I'd be able find out.

The thoughts overtaking my mind were beginning to make my head hurt. I felt completely overwhelmed with the scenarios circling inside my brain. I wanted nothing more than for Bella to be happy; she deserved nothing less, but why couldn't it be with me? I knew what Mike and James saw in her, but they only knew a part of it. I had known Bella for fourteen years; they had only known her for weeks. They only knew her pretty face and her kind heart. They didn't know how sometimes she wished to live in books. They didn't realize how great of a girl she was, not only to me and her other friends, but to her parents as well. They had no clue as to how modest she was, uncomfortable with the flattery she received when her parents gushed about her. Bella was just good.

 _Too good for you_ my brain thought against my wishes. I quickly told it to shut the hell up.

Another part of me knew that wasn't true. I was good enough for her. I stood up for her, protected her from the instant I met her. She obviously liked me for me. I had been told by a handful of girls that I was handsome. I wasn't ugly, yet I didn't consider myself worthy of being on the cover of magazines, either. Bella was pretty; deep brown eyes and gorgeous chestnut hair. I hadn't even realized how much I liked her features until recently. To me she had always been my best friend. Now she was just more whether she knew it or not.

Bella beat me to my car after the last bell and thankfully she was alone. She had to wait until I got there to unlock it and even though by some miracle it wasn't raining, I still apologized. She assured me it was no big deal. She was so happy that Alice was back and how Jasper's mood had lifted considerably since her return. Her heart was so pure and good and wasn't shallow like some of the other girls in our class. She always saw the good in people, whether they deserved it or not. She was always late to judge and gave people kindness even when they didn't extend the same to her.

"How was your day?" I asked as I turned the ignition and buckled up.

"Pretty good, how was yours?" she asked, wrapping her jacket tighter against her.

"Not too bad," I turned up the heat and directed my vent to blow towards her. "So if you don't have anything going on this weekend, do you want to take that trip to Port Angeles to pick up some books?" I pulled out of the parking lot and glanced at the grey clouds overhead, knowing raindrops would be falling any second. It's a good thing Bella got to my car when she did.

"Umm…I guess so." She hesitated and I wondered what was up.

"What?" I asked, a v forming above my nose between my eyebrows.

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head and looking out the window.

"What?" I asked again, a little more firmly this time. I wasn't going to allow her to pretend everything was fine when I knew something was bothering her.

"I just hate for you to use all your gas driving me," she said, still staring at the window.

I chuckled at what she thought was a problem.

"At least let me give you some gas money," she offered, looking into my eyes.

I turned my attention back to the road, turning on the wiper blades as I did. The sound of rain accompanied our conversation in a strange melody.

"I appreciate it, but that's alright." I assured her. I began to wonder why this bothered her. She never offered me gas money when I drove her to school, not that I ever would have taken it.

"But it's a long drive there. Or maybe I can drive," she said. I wanted to laugh, or scoff at her offer. Her truck was a deathtrap. She was in love with it, but I didn't feel the same sentiment. It couldn't go more than forty-five miles per hour and it chugged gas like water. Charlie deemed it safe enough for her and while I trusted his opinion, I wished he would upgrade her to a safer, more modern vehicle.

"That's alright," I rushed, hoping that I didn't offend her.

"The truck is great and you know it," she teased, a quick smile flashing across her lips before her face became worried again. "Just let me give you twenty bucks." She reached into her backpack for her wallet.

"Bella, I said no," I smiled, hoping that it would ease the sting of my rejection. "I really do appreciate it, but it's not a problem. The Volvo does great on gas and I would love to take you. I want to go to a music store myself, so we can just do both." I reasoned, hoping that it'd make her feel better.

"Okay," she sighed, crossing her arms and I knew she was irritated at me for not taking her up on her offer. "You mean there's an album out there that you don't own yet?" she said sarcastically, a smile across her lips, but her eyes glued to the windshield.

I looked over at her profile, a smile on my lips. She was stubborn, but she was my Bella, always trying to help everyone else out.

"Well, believe it or not, yes," I answered, just as sarcastically, knowing that the mood in the car was lifting.

"Whose?"

"Mumford and Sons," I replied. "I didn't really think that I'd like their music, but I came across a cover they did of Paul Simon's "The Boxer" and that changed my mind."

"You sure do like a wide range of music," she stated what we both knew to be the obvious.

"Can't argue with that." Music was like my heroine. Where some people were addicted to alcohol, drugs or sports, I was addicted to music. Mom had signed me up for piano lessons when I was five, which continued to be the biggest blessing in disguise. She also tried to with Emmett, but he was less than interested. He preferred something physical, like football or soccer versus something mentally stimulating.

My album collection spanned anything from Fleetwood Mac to Drake to Adele. All I needed was one song to introduce myself to the artist and pretty soon I splurged and bought their whole album. I tried to get Bella to breach out in her musical choices, but she stuck to what she liked – classical. If she had an iPod, it would be filled with nothing but Beethoven, Mozart and Debussy. I appreciated the classics, stemming from my piano lessons over the years and while I could listen to it, after an hour I was ready for some lyrics with my music. I was debating the idea of finding a cheap acoustic guitar and teaching myself some chords. I figured that if you could master piano, you could pretty much play any instrument after that without too much difficulty.

"Are Mumford and Sons a rock band?" her voice broke through the silence.

I laughed out loud without trying to hurt her feelings. This was the second time today she had said something that evoked this reaction from me. I was hoping to not hurt her feelings and I knew we were okay when a grin broke out over her face. She was such a good sport.

"Not quite, Bella," I chuckled, letting my laughter die down. "They're more folks-y. And English," I added not surprised that she didn't know who the more popular bands of today were.

"Oh," she nodded. "Sounds interesting."

"One day I'm going to buy you an iPod and download it with my favorite stuff. I'll be sure to download some classical, too, just in case you hate what I select."

"Oh, no you're not!" she shot back, shaking her head clearly displeased with the idea.

I said nothing then. The iPod thing was somewhat of a joke, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it could be a great birthday present for her this year. Before I knew it, songs were flooding my brain and I began making a list of ones I thought she needed to hear.

But because she was Bella, she was uneasy with the idea of people spending money on her. She'd get over it I decided. Branching out in her musical choices would be so beneficial for her. I pulled up beside the curb since Renee's car was in the driveway, feeling bad that she would get rained on as she walked to her house.

"Do you want me to walk to you to your door?" I offered, knowing I had an umbrella in this car somewhere.

My eyes locked with her as she gave me the sweetest smile, understanding painted across her face as to why I was asking. I wasn't prepared for the smile she gave me; her lips upturned at the care I showed for her.

"That's alright, but thanks. If I'm not used to the Forks weather by now, I'm never going to be."

I regained myself then, smiling back at her answer. "See you tomorrow," I said.

"Bye." She said, grabbing her backpack and closing the passenger door behind her. Probably out of fear of tripping and falling, she didn't even bother to job up to her front door. She just let the rain fall on her. Bella was so unlike the other girls who were afraid the rain would make their makeup run or their hair frizzy. I smiled at her reproaching figure until she closed the front door.

On my way home I thought more about our upcoming weekend in Port Angeles and what we could do. We'd go the bookstore first because we'd probably spend the majority of our time there. If there was one place not to rush Bella, it was in a bookstore. She was the kind of person who wasn't satisfied reading just the description on the back cover of a book. No, she'd sit herself down in the aisle and read the first couple pages if she felt so inclined. Bella was frugal with money, responsible, and she was grateful when Charlie or Renee gave her money to spend. On more than one occasion she told me about looking for a job in Forks, but in a town this small, the pickings were slim. Her parents told her that while they knew she could juggle school and a job, they'd rather her concentrate on school than worry about money.

Bella knew that my family made more money than hers and while I'd never flaunt that in her face, she was so uneasy when the topic came up. She always made sure to pay me back whenever we went to the movies or got takeout on the weekends. To this day she had never let me buy her anything when it wasn't her birthday. I hoped that she hadn't seen this offering as a boyfriend buying gifts for his girlfriend, but rather a friend just helping a friend out. It never bothered me, but to Bella it was something that she wasn't used to. Why she spent so much time worrying about the price of a cheeseburger at the diner and paying me back, I didn't know.

After the bookstore, we could grab some lunch somewhere. I halfway groaned at the idea now, knowing that throughout the meal, she'd promise to pay me back. Just as quickly, I smiled at the picture playing out in my head. That was just Bella. Take her or leave her, that's just how she was.

I doubted that she'd want anything at the music store, but I more or less added it for her benefit, knowing that she'd never want to go to Port Angeles just for herself. She'd make sure that we hadn't traveled all that way just for her to buy some books. I racked my brain for a book that I might like to read and decided to check out the New York Times Bestsellers list once I got home for some ideas.

Emmett was in his room as I passed by after I got home.

"Hey," he said, grabbing my attention.

"Hi," I said leaning against his doorframe.

"You make any progress with Bella yet?" he asked, leaning back onto just the back legs of his chair in front of his computer desk. That was just like Emmett – right to the point.

"No," I said, crossing my legs at the ankles and putting a hand in his pocket.

"And why not?" he asked, crossing his arms. I realized then how long it had been since I caught up with Emmett. He was taking online classes for his freshman year in college and even though he still lived at home, I felt like we hadn't spoken to each other in years. Rosalie and college took up most of his time, but I also knew that if I ever needed him, he'd be there for me.

"Just haven't found the right time yet," I explained, the first excuse that came to my mind. I debated telling Emmett about Bella's few dates with James, but decided against it. If I had to vocalize their new relationship – or whatever the hell it was you want to call it – then it made it real. There was still a big part of me that wanted to believe that this was just a few dates between them, nothing serious, but I didn't have a clue. Even though I had this feeling that James was bad news, Bella spoke about him kindly, so I really had no idea what was going on between them. A part of me was glad for this; another part of me loathed it.

"Man, if I were you I wouldn't wait long." He advised.

I knew that his advice was earnest, but it just pissed me off. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't have waited so long to be truthful with Bella about my feelings for her. The logical side of my brain knew that I could be in trouble. Having no idea how Bella felt about James, she could very well decide to make things with him official and then I'd be forced to see her with another guy.

My heartbeat picked up in pace at the thought. Even though I told myself that I would support her no matter what, I couldn't be that good of a liar. I couldn't pretend to be obliviously happy for her if things progressed to the point of an engagement. I'd rather have venom run through my veins than witness that.

"Yeah," was all I managed to say.

"Hey, what's the worst that could happen?" Emmett pointed out, smiling at me. Being serious was probably his least favorite thing in the world and he always knew how to lighten the mood.

"Right," I said before turning and walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

**In light of Bella's birthday today, I thought that I'd give all my readers a gift in the form of a new chapter!**

 **My beta extraordinaire, Sydney Alice, unfortunately wasn't able to beta this chapter. Any mistakes you see are completely mine and not a reflection of her at all.**

 **More from me at the bottom.**

On Monday morning when I should have been listening to what my English teacher was saying, I was reminiscing about my amazing time with Bella this past weekend in Port Angeles. I picked her up at ten o'clock and I took her to the bookstore first. I smiled just seeing the exuberance on her face. She literally didn't wait until I had the car in park before her hand was on her door handle.

"Eager much?" I teased.

She just smiled back, not even giving me an answer as she reached for her purse.

Remembering how touched she seemed by James' gesture of opening her car door for her, I made sure that I made my way to the door of the bookstore before she did. I opened it for her and she told me thanks before stepping inside.

Even though we had been to this store before, Bella stopped in the lobby and took it all in. This particular store had two floors and I knew that we'd be here for a good portion of the day. I didn't have a particular book in mind to buy, but I wasn't opposed to browsing.

"I'm going off to look for an Oscar Wilde book," Bella turned to tell me. "I saw a quote from one of his books online and I'm intrigued."

"Okay, I'll be…around." I answered. It's not that I didn't love reading as much as Bella; music was just more my passion.

She smiled before walking away and turning into an aisle to the right. I read the tags hanging from the ceiling above the various bookcases: Mystery, Biography, Cooking, Health & Fitness and eventually found myself in the Young Adult section. The spines of the _Harry Potter_ books caught my attention and I still to this day wondered what the appeal was. Esme bought the first _Harry Potter_ movie for us and while I enjoyed it, I was nowhere near the level of setting up a Quidditch match or getting a tattoo like I had seen other people do online. I flipped open the cover of the first book in the series and skimmed it.

Time seemed to pass quickly and I hadn't seen Bella since we departed ways when we got here. Before I knew it, I was on page thirty-five of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ and I was enjoying it more than I thought I would. I decided that it may be a good investment and it would probably help fill some character and plot gaps that I felt whenever I watched the movie. I shut the copy I had and went in search for Bella.

I couldn't find her on the first floor and made my way up the staircase. The store was pretty busy; probably because it was a Saturday. I passed by the Children's section where a mother was reading to her son _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_. I passed another heavily-tattooed guy with a blue-dyed Mohawk looking at a book on the history of tattooing. Another woman was in the section that I could probably appreciate the most – music – with a biography about Bob Dylan in her hands. I passed a table with puzzle boxes on it displaying flower-covered mountaintops, Van Gogh's infamous _Starry Night_ and a downtown view of Chicago's skyline.

Eventually I found Bella in a position that came as no surprise to me: sitting in the aisle, her nose in a book, with four books stacked beside her.

"Jesus, Bella," I said as I accidentally startled her.

She just smiled, knowing herself all too well. "What can I say? I have no control when it comes to this place."

"What are you reading?" I asked, unable to see the front cover of the book in her hands.

"I found this book about love letters from great men. Apparently it's number one in a volume. I initially wasn't interested, but then I saw the one Beethoven wrote to his Immortal Beloved. And you know how I feel about Beethoven," she swooned, smiling to herself.

My mind was unable to let me form words. Bella was like this magical being to me. She lived in the wrong era. I always thought she was an old soul and knew she belonged in a nineteenth century world versus the twenty-first one.

"Did you find the Oscar whoever book you were looking for?" I asked as I scanned the spines of the books sitting next to her.

"Oscar Wilde? Yes I did. I overhead Jessica saying how much she liked his work and so I came to check it out for myself."

"And?" I asked, curious as to what conclusions she had come up with.

"Love it so far," she replied closing her book and adding it to the top of her growing stack.

" _The Alchemist_ , _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ , _Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close_ , _The Doll in the Garden_ ," I listed off the books. "You sure do like a vast array of books," I said, mimicking what she said earlier about my musical preferences.

"That I do," she said, standing and stretching her legs. "And I need to get out of here before I blow everything Charlie gave me for today," she leaned down to pick up her books, but I beat her to it.

"Let me get those," I offered.

"Aww, like in old movies. A young man offering to carry my books home from school for me," she teased as she slung her purse strap over her shoulder.

"Exactly," I joined in on the joke. "I have to do it now before I'm called off to the war and it'll be months before we see each other again."

She laughed at me as we joined the end of the line in front of the cash registers.

"But of course you promise to write me whenever you get the chance, right?"

"Well of course. I wouldn't be a true gentleman if I didn't," I assured her, standing up straight like a soldier would in a formation line. "And you never know, one of my love letters to you could be published and be included in volume two," I joked referring to the book I had caught her reading before.

"Ahh, I don't know how I'd feel about that. Your letters would be for my eyes only," she smiled before blushing and looking down to the floor.

The biggest smile crept across my face as I let my mind indulge in the fact that Bella wasn't uncomfortable at the idea of me writing her a love letter. Joke or not, I didn't dismiss the idea and stored it away for future purposes.

I didn't even bother asking if Bella needed any cash for her books. If she fretted over food I bought her, she'd think I was out of my mind to pay for books. I took my wallet out of my back pocket though, letting her know that I'd help her if need be. Of course, she didn't.

She thanked the employee who rang her out and they had to double up their plastic bags to make sure the weight of her new purchase wouldn't fall through. I did however make sure that I made it to the door before she did again to open it for her again.

"So, where to for lunch?" I asked as we buckled up and I turned the ignition.

"Wherever you want to go. I'll let you pick since I took so long in there." She said as she twisted the ends of her hair around her finger.

I knew exactly the place I wanted to take her. It was my favorite restaurant in Port Angeles. They had a great barbeque chicken sandwich that I got every time my family passed through.

I made sure to open the doors to the restaurant for her like I did at the bookstore. She thanked me, but she wasn't flattered like when James did it for her. She didn't swoon or blush and I assumed that she thought I was just being nice and not trying to show her a different side of me. I wasn't really surprised considering she didn't know my true motive behind doing so, but at least I could say that I tried.

After the hostess seated us, I didn't even bother to flip through the menu. I did however take an opportunity to stare at Bella without her noticing.

"So, what'll it be?" I asked after she flipped her menu shut.

"A cup of the turkey noodle soup."

"And…?"

"And some soda." Her look told me she clearly didn't understand where I was headed with this.

"That's it?" I asked, sort of appalled.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders, one wrist on top of the other resting on her crossed legs.

"You're not hungry?" I asked in disbelief. It was now past two o'clock and as I had guessed, it had taken Bella a while to browse in the bookstore.

"I'm okay," she lied, suddenly expecting her nails; a move I knew which meant she clearly wanted to change the subject. But I knew Bella too well. I knew the issue was money.

"You spent a lot of money at the bookstore, didn't you?" I asked, not even needing her to confirm what I already knew.

"I spent more than I should," she answered the question, but still avoiding exactly what I asked her.

"Bella, get whatever you want. Don't worry about it," I tried to assure her.

"Can I get your drinks for you a while?" our waitress Claire asked after introducing herself. I looked at Bella expectantly.

"A diet Pepsi, please," she asked.

"Lemonade," I said after Claire looked to me.

"Do we need some more time with the menu?" Claire asked as she scribbled our drink order on her notepad.

"I don't need any more time, do you?" Bella said, looking into my eyes.

"Yes," I smiled in apology to Claire. I needed more time to talk to Bella.

"I'll be right back with your drinks. Take your time."

"Edward, why didn't you just order?" she asked after our waitress left.

"Because you're irritating me," I said honestly while smiling. I didn't want to totally offend her, so I was hoping my smile would take the sting out of it. _But I still love you to death_ I wanted to add.

"I'm annoying you? How so?" she asked, sitting back and crossing her arms. This was a blatant example of her own irritation spiking a little.

"Because you won't just allow me to buy you lunch. Honestly, how many meals have we eaten together? It's not a big deal. You're so worried about everyone spending money on you or when they do, you insist on paying them back. You know I could give a fuck less if you order a burger and don't give me five bucks back, right?"

I couldn't help but smile at the truth of my own words. It was one of Bella's biggest pet peeves – feeling like she owed somebody for their kindness to her. While it bugged me, it was just so Bella that I couldn't help but find it cute.

"It's just like you said, it's not a big deal. So I don't know why you just won't let me order the soup," she halfway huffed.

"I told her we need more time so you can browse the menu some more to pick out something else you want. I've already run the poor girl once, but I'll do it again if you only get the soup," I lightheartedly threatened as Bella rolled her eyes and opened her menu back up.

 _Good girl._

Claire returned with our drinks and I motioned for Bella to place her order first. She ordered a pizza burger, but still got the cup of soup. Subconsciously, I think she was trying to rub in the fact that she was still getting her way to some extent with me. I ordered and Claire took our menus.

"Mad at me?" I looked into her eyes, knowing that if she was, she couldn't stay mad at me for long.

"No," she shook her head and a smile broke out on her face. "Edward Cullen, I love you, but you try my patience sometimes."

I knew that she wasn't telling me she loved me in a romantic way, but it still took me off guard. My heartbeat picked up at the words. In all the years we had been friends, we never told each other we loved each other. We just knew it to be true; there was no reason to say it on birthdays or holidays or just for the hell of it. Still, I was taking what I could get at this point.

During lunch we talked about everyday stuff – school, a movie coming out next month Bella wanted to see, Emmett. I told her about some albums I wanted to buy and how Carlisle was helping to set up some fundraiser at the hospital.

When the check came, Bella tried to swipe it, but I beat her to it.

"If you're going to pay for the food, at least let me leave the tip," she offered, already reaching into her bag and retrieving her wallet. Not wanting to sour our good day, I agreed.

"Deal," I said as I stood to retrieve my own wallet. Bella laid a five dollar bill on the table, going over the typical twenty percent gratuities. I suggested she instead lay down the three singles I saw in her purse, but she didn't waiver.

I paid and after we made our way to my car she thanked me again. It was unnecessary, so I brushed it off.

"I like that place. My burger was really good."

"We'll have to come back sometime," I said, thrilled at the idea of spending another Saturday like this with Bella sometime – and soon.

We made our way downtown to a record store I had only been to once. A couple of years ago, Emmett brought me here in exchange for me going to some fitness place on the other side of town with him. I hadn't been here in years, but the place still looked exactly like I remembered it. Various music posters adorned the white walls and a blue border ran along the top where it met the ceiling.

"Look around," I said to Bella before I made my way to the Folk section where I was sure to find Mumford & Sons. I scanned until I found it and surveyed the back cover, wondering if I'd like any of their other songs besides the one I had initially sought it out for.

I then made my way to the Pop Rock section where the cover of Imagine Dragons' debut album called to me. I wasn't absolutely crazy over their first single, but had heard "Radioactive" on the radio the other day and instantly sought iTunes to add it to my iPod. I scanned the top of the displays looking for Bella, but couldn't see her. I was hoping that she was contemplating broadening her musical preferences, but figured she was near the back in the classical section.

Some time passed as I found myself comparing albums and discovering artists I had never even heard of before. I hated to buy an album I knew I couldn't easily return, but figured if I purchased one I didn't like; I could always pass it along to Emmett or Jasper. I liked giving albums as gifts and began wondering what kind of music Alice was into as a possible Christmas present this year.

Bella returned to my side, patient as ever as I checked out one of King of Leon's older albums.

"Hey, didn't you find anything you liked?" I asked as I saw her scanning the CDs in a display.

"No, not really," she shrugged her shoulders.

"You want me to recommend something?" I was more than happy to suggest some artists I think she would like.

"Maybe another time," she said noncommittally, pretending to be distracted.

Her mood confused me. She wasn't necessarily in a bad mood; she just seemed very bored when she had a vast array of music to discover right in front of her.

Then it dawned on me. The issue was more than likely money.

"Are you out of money?" I asked, voicing my theory.

"I got everything I wanted at the bookstore," she said invading my question.

So my suspicion was right, but because she's Bella, she didn't want to tell me that.

"Well lucky for you, I have more than enough," trying to tempt her.

"Really Edward, it's alright. We can come back another time and I promise I'll get something if it will make you feel better," she assured me.

"But why wait when we can resolve the problem now? Carpe diem," I joked, hoping that she'd change her mind.

"What do you have there?" she asked, looking at the CDs in my hands, trying to distract me.

I was telling her about Imagine Dragons when a blonde girl who couldn't be more than sixteen walked up to Bella.

"Thanks again. You didn't have to do that, but I really appreciate it," she said as I noticed the bag she was holding.

"You're welcome," Bella smiled. "I hope you like it."

I wondered what that was all about and waited until the girl was out of earshot before I questioned Bella about it.

"It's nothing," she assured me, shaking her head.

"Well, if it's nothing, then why not tell me?" I tried to persuade her, pinning her down with my eyes.

"You're so persistent, aren't you?" she smiled at me.

 _Only where you're concerned._

"I passed her in an aisle as she was digging through her bag. She had half of her purse emptied out on the floor when I heard her muttering that "it had to be in here somewhere." I tried not to stare, but she almost looked like she was about to have a panic attack. I felt bad for her, so I asked her if she was okay. She told me that she wanted to buy an album with some birthday money, but couldn't find it in her purse. So, I gave her a twenty so she could get her CD."

Amazing. Selfless. Caring. Empathetic. All accurate adjectives when describing Bella. She didn't think twice about handing over money to a stranger, but she was so worried about paying any of her friends back. That was Bella – seeing someone in distress and taking pity on them. She really was more amazing than she knew.

"Well, that was nice," I assured her, thinking she should somehow be paid back for her good deed. "Come with me," I tilted my head, indicating for her to follow me.

I led her to the Indie Rock section where I easily found Florence and the Machine's _Lungs_ album. If I liked Florence, I knew for sure that Bella would, too.

"Here," I said picking up her album and placing it in Bella's hands.

She looked at the cover art and flipped over the case, reading the song titles.

"Cool," she said as she went to put it back.

"Oh no Bella, that's not how this works," I wanted to laugh; her not understanding my intentions at all.

"Don't, Edward," was all she could say as she turned to walk away.

"I'm buying you this album. You have to listen to her stuff. Seriously," I insisted. If she didn't let me buy it for her, I'd buy it without her knowledge and find one way or another to give it to her.

"Wasn't lunch enough?" she asked, backing away from me, probably hoping I'd change my mind.

"No," was all I could say as I continued watching her walk away. I picked the CD back up and added it to the other three in my hands.

Bella refused to make eye contact with me throughout the rest of the store. She stayed by my side, patient as ever as I made my way through the genres I wanted to check out. I didn't want to take up too much of her time, but I was just enjoying myself and her company so much that I wanted to drag it out for as long as possible. Besides, Bella knew she took a while at the bookstore and I knew damned well she wouldn't say anything about however long I wanted to stay in the music store.

I just didn't get it. I didn't understand why money was such an issue for her. Bella didn't remind me of a prideful person, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought maybe she was. Money wasn't something we talked about a lot, more because we had no need to than anything else. Still, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that I'd never throw my family's wealth in front of her face. I had a suspicion that her dad made good money, but not as much as Carlisle did.

To me it didn't matter. I didn't think twice about spending money on my girl, but for some reason it made her skin crawl. It's like she had this imaginary scale in her mind that needed to remain balanced at all times. She hated when it tipped too far in someone else's favor. For her, she felt like she needed to pay back every cent she borrowed. I even remember one time her offering me the monetary value of what I bought her for her birthday present back. As much as I loved her, the girl was seriously clueless as to what was considered a major problem and what wasn't.

"Are you ready to go?" I broke the silence, hoping she'd lift her eyes to meet mine. She didn't; instead nodding as we walked towards the checkout line.

She didn't say anything as she watched the man behind the counter scan my CDs – including Florence's – before placing them in a bag. I saw her wince out of the corner of my eye when he read me my total. I couldn't give a damn less what it was as long as Bella walked away with a new piece of music for her to discover.

When we got to the car, I reached into the bag and took out Florence and the Machine's album. I worked the plastic wrapping off the jewel case and opened it. I would show her the incredible voice that belonged to that redheaded English singer. I was trying not to irritate Bella further, but I knew my insistence on buying her the album would continue to bother her. What frustrated me was that I knew she'd like it if she gave it a chance.

The opening notes of the first song broke through the silence and I saw her shoulders visibly relax.

 _That a girl. See? Money is no issue when it comes to your happiness._ I smiled at Bella, unaware of herself as always as she stared out the window. I put the car into drive and headed out of town and back home towards Forks.

A few seconds after Florence's ethereal voice came through the speakers, she turned to me.

"I think I heard this song somewhere, like in a movie trailer or something."

"Probably." I answered not surprised. "Dog Days Are Over" was indeed Florence's groundbreaking single for her newfound American audience and it had received considerable attention since its release.

"It's been out for a while now," I answered, scratching my elbow.

She returned her face to the window watching the scenery blur past us.

"She does have a pretty voice."

"Yeah," was all I could say, enjoying her discovering a new artist that she seemed to like so far.

I told her "Cosmic Love" was coming up and even turned up the volume a little bit.

"You've always done that," she chuckled to herself. At my puzzled expression, she continued. "You've always turned up your favorite songs more than the others. That's how I've figured out which songs were your favorites," she smiled. It was true. I always cranked up the songs I liked best. For some reason, they just seemed even better louder.

We drove most of the way home in silence and I began to relax a little more once I knew that Bella was over the whole arguing about money thing. It wasn't until "Blinding" came on that I knew Bella must be in love with Florence as much as I was. She leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes, a smile playing on her lips.

"You tired?" I asked, turning down the volume a little bit.

"No, turn it back up," she opened her eyes looking at me. "It's just so good. I feel like I'm in a dream world when I'm listening to her. Her music creates such vivid pictures in my mind."

"She's pretty amazing," I agreed, planning our next music trip so I could introduce her to Blue October, Linkin Park or Ellie Goulding.

When the last song played she reached over to touch my forearm. "Thank you," she said earnestly.

"You're welcome," I smiled at her, pleased that she enjoyed the album as much as I did.

"We can listen to one of your other ones if you want to," she offered, reaching into my bag at her feet to unwrap another CD.

"No, it's okay. I haven't heard Florence in a while. I like being re-introduced to her music."

The sign welcoming us to Forks came into our sight faster than I wanted it to. I contemplated asking Bella if I could hang out at her place this afternoon, but didn't know if her parents had anything planned for her. I doubted she had plans with any other friends and I really hoped that James wouldn't spontaneously text asking to see her.

I pulled into her driveway and she got her bag of books from the backseat. I ejected Florence's album from my CD player, anxious for her to hear the songs again so she could tell me which ones she liked best.

"Thanks again for the CD. You didn't have to do that, but I really appreciate it," she smiled.

"You're more than welcome, Bella. Any time. Let me know when you're done with those books and we'll plan another Saturday excursion to Port Angeles." I smiled back, her mood infectious.

"Deal. You may regret telling me that. I'm giving you a fair warning now." She said before climbing out and closing the car door behind her.

I drove home happy that I could do something for her. Her aversion to people buying her things still bothered me to some degree. There were plenty of times that I paid for movie tickets for Jasper or ordered some take out for him and I before we hung out to play video games. I did it as a gesture because I cared. That situation was no different to me than Bella's, but for some reason she always had to keep that scale carefully balanced. I hoped one day she would just get over it and realize that I wouldn't do those things for her – or any of my friends – if I really didn't want to.

Once I was home, I opened my laptop and put my new Mumford and Sons CD into the player. My mind returned to Bella as I let Marcus Mumford's voice carry my thoughts away.

I listened intently to each song and their accompanying lyrics and felt an instant connection to "I Will Wait." I almost felt like Marcus wrote this song with me in mind. The lyrics rang so true pertaining to my current situation.

 _And I will wait, I will wait for you_

I would wait for her forever. If my wait meant that I could be hers and she mine even for one day, I'd wait an eternity.

 _Now I'll be bold_

 _As well as strong_

 _And use my head alongside my heart_

 _So tame my flesh_

 _And fix my eyes_

 _A tethered mind freed from the lies_

In reality, I suppose I was waiting for her. I was also waiting for James Sullivan to make an epic mistake and break it off or better yet – Bella would come to her senses and be the one to dump him. Either way, I just hoped that my waiting would pay off in the end.

 **I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

 **I'm so nervous because Sydney wasn't able to look over this chapter, but I hope I didn't make too many mistakes!**

 **I haven't done this in a while, but I own no notable work, literary or musical, mentioned in this chapter. I have yet to read some of the books Bella bought at the bookstore, but** _ **The Doll in the Garden**_ **was my favorite book when I was growing up.**

 **If you have awesome grandparents, tell them.**


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